-
1.5 | What have you learned/observed about your relational presence in regard to these qualities (confidence-humility, precision-flexibility, stillness-sparkliness)?
-
Having the words, framework, and awareness of these 6 qualities is quite enlightening and I observe that I tend to take in and read energy of individuals in a room, especially when I’m engaging with my team or partners/clients, and tend to respond based on my interpretation of that and what I process what may be needed. I find that when it comes to getting things done, I prefer to speak with or strive for precision. The flexibility comes when perhaps I’m pitching an idea or looking to inspire. I am enjoying the exercise of practicing humility of speech and also grounding in the stillness among a sea of sparkle.
-
It has been a month or so since we played with this in class together. I lOVED playing with voice an face and tone of voice in class. I loved the connections it elicited and the sense of play and touching on the wide wide range of expressions within me and not feeling so constrained or narrow into the usual blah. I have not thought much about this question since then. As I reflect now, I tend to feel safer within myself when my language is more precise about what is happening and what isn’t in any situation. Setting those parameters.. How long I will be with my mom… what things I am not willing to talk about…the things I am looking forward to connecting with her about… being precise in my intention and needs before entering time with her (or anyone) has been super helpful in finding a safe ground within me and having more fun and spaciousness with things ironically. Flexibility was my go-to for a long long time and it became confusing to me where I actually stood.
-
Board Meetings: As a fairly new CEO, I am very aware of the opportunities presented during Board Meetings to shape how board members view me. Having come to my role after a leader who was CEO for 40 years and had a very different leadership style than my own – I have had moments of anxiety about how they view my presence in meetings. I this context I will often choose to amplify aspects of myself that I think will resonate with them – that is confidence versus humility and sparkliness versus stillness. Personally, I would more often lean in the other direction, if left to myself. I have found it interesting to intentionally act in ways that counter my well worn pathways in the interest of meeting particular moments where my role calls for something different.
-
I have been a practicing clinical veterinarian for over 30 years, so I have confidence in my skill set. I have worked on developing a humility that allows clients to feel safe in voicing their concerns without the need to lie (it was a revelation to me when one of my clients – a therapist- told me that 30% of my pet owners were lying to me!). The humility wipes away judgment and a clearer view of what the person might be seeking for themselves and their pet becomes more apparent. Precision-to the extent possible- comes into play in determining a treatment plan, but flexibility is required because it is the pet owner who then becomes the “nurse” and may implement care without precision (which comes with time and experience). Flexibility is required because not all owners come in with the same expectation for the pet’s care, meaning that alternative options need to be made available and explored. Stillness and calm geniality are required, but I suppose I am still sparkly at seeing a long term client after a while, or a new puppy or kitten, or a good outcome that had every indication of going south.
-
I learned that my confidence and precision needs a lot of work! And stillness, flexibility and sparkliness are much easier for me. When I practiced with another person, I noticed they were the opposite. I found it interesting that our line of business is also quite opposite. It’s no wonder we followed the professional paths that we did, it played up our strengths. But what could be possible for me (and others) if I worked on my weaknesses? And created a sense of balance by developing my confidence and precision? I am now curious to see. I feels like an adventure I would like to take on.
-
The relational presence is dependent on the interactions that take place, positive and negative. Allowing space for the interdependent aspect, this breathes of confidence-humility, precision-flexibility, and with stillness-sparkliness. The qualities of equity and equanimity are active and dynamic, they are seen though the eyes of the humble and confident agent of change and transformation.
-
Becoming aware of my relational presence in groups is transformative. This framework helps me name what I’m feeling and whether I am being authentic and present in each moment. I’m also reflecting on the aspects before interactions and after and believe my self-awareness has grown and developed.
-
In professional settings, I default to stillness and can obscure some of the subtle sparkle within. Leaning into trust of myself and my colleagues to let the sparkle show through and provide levity as befits the moment/is true within myself has been a lovely feeling – it allows work to feel more like play and colleagues to feel more like collaborating friends.
-
These are all extremely important qualities for my day to day work and ones I have to fine balance in. I have to have confidence to reach out to people I don’t know and the humility to listen to them when we connect. I have to defocused and precise in my work but also very flexible because so much of it depends on external customer factors. I have to be able to turn on the sparkle when needed for presentations and discussions but also be still so I’m not overwhelmed with go go going all the time. I meet with a lot of people and am on the go for work. I am an extrovert so I thrive on this but sometimes I really do need to be still and it is hard after being so amped up through connection.
-
I can fall into different spectrums of confidence-humility depending on the situation / tenor of the group that I’m in. When I’m able to mix the two to varying degrees, communication feels most holistic/genuine in communication- I notice each trait in its own right can bring comfort, steadiness, groundedness, and openness.
Currently in life, my dominant energy leans more toward sparkliness than stillness, but I do try to shift to stillness that space if it suits the situation. It can be done with some pausing to assess what’s needed in front of me, and then intentionally pausing to bring myself to stillness to meet the moment.
When I’m speaking with flexibility, I am open and loose, whereas with precision I am more contracted and technical (esp. at work); it’s a little harder for me to move between these two in all situations, b/c I tend to want to be seen as competent and live more in precision mode around those I’m not as secure or comfortable around. My intention is to work on being able to move between these two spaces better. By practicing flexibility in the context where it doesn’t naturally arise, it helps to strengthen this trait, resourcing me to have more freedom of choice in the future.
Log in to reply.