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2.1 | What have you learned from / observed in your compassion cultivation meditation practice?
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It has helped me in observing better how to be more commissioned in many different situations and to be more conscious when I was already doing that
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I noticed that I have difficulty with some people at work, having the same affection and admiration as I have for others, because of problems that we had before. This is a great forgiving practice, I’ve used it in personal matters, and now I see that using it for coworkers can also be interesting. But it takes time, I feel I still need more repetitions and continuous effort.
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Even when I’m not “into it”, I get into as a I go and am OK with that. Practicing compassion for others and myself strengthens my own.
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I noticed I need to develop more concentration. I also noticed that I love doing metta for self and it’s easier to start there for me, because it helps me settle better.
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I’m finding it particularly helpful to use compassion cultivation with strangers, such as store employees I encounter, strangers I pass on the street, etc. It leaves me feeling more inclined to be positive & friendly toward them, when typically I would simply ignore them, and the positive exchange then leaves me feeling just a bit more joyful.
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Compassion is the salve for everything for me. Not only for me but when I have compassion it is a salve for others too.
It’s just about staying in my body to get in touch with my heart. My practice is to keep returning home over and over again.
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I learned that self compassion is a source of constant wisdom for me. It feels banal to type this, as many profound truths do, but it is only by having compassion for myself that I can truly connect with others, or relax enough to enjoy the momement.
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I have come to look forward to practicing. I have been relishing the connection with my self in a new way. Each of the experiences, self, neutral person and person with whom I am experiencing difficulties has landed in a place in me that has been… longing?… to be accessed, acknowledged, utilized, appreciated.. all those words get close but the experience is without words. I know my heart has felt more open and secure in general that it has in a long time. I keep returning to expending metta to myself even when focusing on other people because this seems to boost what Nikki calls the “juice” or the aliveness and brings me back into alignment with the practice.
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It is beautiful to be reminded that the practice is always there, wherever or however we may be. It relies on no particular geography or group or accoutrements, nothing but presence. Challenges, distractions, stresses, displacements, or other matters may sometimes obscure that presence, but when you sit quietly, the practice greets you to grow. I am realizing that I have long facilitated practices like this for others through teaching and related engagements, but am not good at giving myself this space. Thank you for making the layers of metta practice a basis for this training. It will always take practice, which cultivates presence to continually grow through challenges and change.
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I have found it enormously difficult to focus on this practice. While I know metta very well – this assignment has been challenging. My mind has be unwieldy – wandering more and more, boredom and distraction have been my companions. At the same time, I have appreciated the practice of cultivating the feeling of loving kindness and then moving that feeling from one object to another, particularly a person with whom I am having difficulty. It is so clear during the practice how this is a gift to myself, that the replacing of anger or ill will with good wishes is incredibly healing and helps ground me in a way of being that nourishes my heart.
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I am becoming more aware of how this was missing in my practice. The immensity of suffering and love on this plane has taken me down different paths in my practice. This shift back to the core of why I come to the mat, is healing my spot on the planet.
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I’m finding it easier to take the perspective of people I find difficult. I’m also finding myself more often starting from seeking to understand before judge.
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Sitting in the ER with my son who had broken his arms waiting for hours and hours with many unhappy people was a lot easier with a few moments of sending compassion to everyone there!
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When I remember that everyone on the planet just wants to be loved, to be acknowledged, to feel significant, to feel like they contribute, to have their basic survival needs met and then some, then I remember we are all alike, and this behavior (whatever it is at the time) is how they are expressing it in this moment. I have expressed some behaviors unskillfully in a moment. I might express it differently, now, but they are coming from the same place, just different conditioning, different steps on the Path/their path/ a path.
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Over the past 12-15 months, nearly all of the mindful meditation work I’ve completed has been focused on simply noticing consciousness and almost creating a leveling effect in my mind about what constitutes appearances in consciousness. A quick example would be to notice the color of light that comes from a lamp in whatever space I might be meditating in and comparing or contrasting that appearance in consciousness against a feeling state such as anger or worry. This type of practice has yielded a measure of existential comfort. The color of the light becomes roughly analogous with worry. Both are electrical signals in my brain and can be addressed as such. However, this lens into the mind essentially ignores or at least sets aside the most unique facets of the human experience. The love I may feel for my young children—at the end of the day—is manifestly different than the color of the leaves outside my window. Engaging in the metta practice has brought me back around to the differing nature of these sensations, and I am grateful for that.
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