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2.3 | What have you learned from / observed in your stance of common humanity / compassion for others practice?
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It has being nice to be conscious on something that comes really naturally to me, so it gives me a lot of comfort
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As I mentioned in another question, I feel that my sense of common humanity is still skewed, and difficulties persist with some people in both work and personal life. I think this is normal for almost all of us, but it’s interesting to be confronted with this fact and be more aware of how we act with the people who we have challenges with.
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I’ve enjoyed the compassion meditations for the neutral person. It has increased my capacity to understand common humanity beyond a concept which is how I thought of it before. Yes, it makes sense, I get it. However, after practising with it this month I approach others differently – my life really could have been theirs. This is a concept I grew up with – there but for the grace of God go I – yet there has been a compassionate shift. I will continue this practice.
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I appreciate the “Just like me” practice but it is much more challenging when it involves the person(s) with whom I have difficulty. I think my mind, body and heart have been rejecting going there for quite some time and it’s still not easy. I do have awareness that I feel it in my chest during this practice and perhaps that tight region will start to soften eventually. Lol.
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I must say I have not practiced this one over this time, but I have practiced this before and I truly enjoyed the perspective it gave me. I want to practice it more.
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Somehow when I dance with common humanity we are all children and learning. It’s difficult not to have compassion for children. Thats the truth anyway. Our little selves still live inside us and of course none of us us perfect. We are all fallible and on different parts of our journey’s. Makes it all much easier to accept what is happening around and to me.
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This was the area I was already most well practiced in. Bringing attention to it revealed to me some of the places and people I was still holding back from.
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I see the person at the grocery store whose name I don’t know and have seen about 10 times total in my life so much differently now:). As if they have taken this beautiful ride with me into unknown and creative and spacious and kind possibilities! Working with people where I experience difficulty is harder. Returning to self compassion helps a lot and glad to have that as an available resource at anytime. In my Metta practice I worked with someone I have not spoken to in years where things ended badly between us and a week or so later I had a dream with them where we expressing love and gratitude to each other. There was a genuine sense of mutual respect and acknowledgment of the hurt we both carried being tended to in our conversation. They invited me out to lunch as equals and in the dream I said. I love you. Thank you for everything you have taught me and “no thank you and I wish you well”. I am still reveling in this dream.
My biggest learning has been that Metta practice has opened possibilities. I love and resonate with Nikki’s language of “tending the soil” and “planting seeds”.. especially when the practice feels arduous and flat. I have been able to sit through these minutes with more faith in the sending of the soil.
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This is the metta practice that resonates most deeply for me, as I love carrying it through new encounters. In recent months for self-protection amid challenges of resigning a job and moving cross-country, I have been more isolated, but this practice provides openings for me to anticipate new encounters. One of the joys of living in this world is common humanity, and I have always loved experiences where otherwise strangers become people who you can’t imagine your life without. As an aside, I appreciate holding this presence of practice alongside each of you in your respective journeys. Thank you for your generous sharing of vulnerability, struggles, and ongoing practice. May you all be safe, healthy, happy, at peace.
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I find it incredibly useful – moving out of agitation/anger/outrage – or a thousand other harmful thoughts – into the grounding stance of “just like me” – it can reduce my (inner) temperature and help me respond in ways more aligned with my values and my vision of the world I would like to inhabit. It is also hard to hold onto. Very easy for other ways of being to return.
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This is allowing me to pull back from my self-centeredness and to celebrate the amazing conectiveness I share with all beings. It brings me great joy. I want to help all beings. This mere observation lightens my heart and is allowing me to be free of the cage of my me I
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I love practicing stretching my compassion so wide. For me this has deeply informed my outlook and personal choices, not just recently but over my adult life. It’s a big part of the work and life I have chosen. But there are times this has been in the background of my life, rather than front of mind. So I am really grateful for this reminder of how much this can fill you with compassion and bring clarity to how much altruism and kindness is what is truly meaningful in life.
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I am able to be a much better listener. All of life and relationships feel richer. I am in touch with my heart and connection rather than just thinking and judging.
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Analogous to the observation I shared in 2.2 above, the simplest thing I’ve learned or observed—particularly the person with whom I might be having difficulty—is a (re-) awakened or elevated ability to both notice and then look past whatever private, individual, selfish sensations or emotional states that may have emerged inside me and simultaneously see and accept the individual in front of me at any given moment. To be able to reconcile my own anger/frustration/sadness with the idea that the person standing in front of me has their own experience and is very likely experiencing significant challenges. In short, their bad day is at least equally bad to mine and quite possibly worse. A quick example actually appears in my personal life. My daughter will be three years old in February. At the moment she is squarely in the middle of either a “terrible two” or “threenager” phase. Her emotional outbursts over the most mundane and simplistic facets of everyday life are both frequent and volatile. I don’t truly have “difficulty with her”. She’s two, I love her dearly and am aware of her innate irrationality as a two year old. Even still, it doesn’t mean it’s pleasant to deal with a little person shrieking at the top of their lungs simply because dinner time is over. It is not. However, I’ve been able to generate a most consistently high level of compassion and calm with her based on this practice.
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Working with the neutral person especially has really opened me up more to what was previously an intellectual understanding to one that is more of the felt sense of our common humanity and compassion toward others I don’t even know.
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