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2.3 | What have you learned from / observed in your stance of common humanity / compassion for others practice?
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When I remember that everyone on the planet just wants to be loved, to be acknowledged, to feel significant, to feel like they contribute, to have their basic survival needs met and then some, then I remember we are all alike, and this behavior (whatever it is at the time) is how they are expressing it in this moment. I have expressed some behaviors unskillfully in a moment. I might express it differently, now, but they are coming from the same place, just different conditioning, different steps on the Path/their path/ a path.
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Being happy for another’s happiness is like the best feeling ever! I love how it feels. It makes me feel like their pleasure, their joy, their abundance is also mine — because we are one in the same! Sending them rejoice makes me want to rejoice. I also find a metta practice powerful. It really helped me to dissolve an imagined boundary between me and my father. And he agrees!
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I find that this practice overall has been one that comes more naturally to me, but that when I am stressed or particularly feeling low about my own progress in life and such that it becomes less easy as I tend to fall into the ego trap of self-loathing and hyper focused on my own suffering, my own struggle. I think these are connected as all my life, the more I’ve stopped to look around, to relate my story to others and share that vulnerability the less alone I’ve felt, the more supported I felt in my knowing that we’re all “walking each other home” as they say. It helps me understand those around me and why my world looks the way it does because of these perceptions and to move accordingly.
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I think this practice is easier said than done. When there is space between a situation, for example a hurricane in a far away country, it’s easy to send good prayers and donate, but then your day goes on as usual where those impacted are changed forever. Where I struggle with this, is how to have deep compassion for all and not forget about people and situations. Maybe I’m thinking about it in the wrong way and just need to continue though life with an open heart and doing my best in my humanity compassion practice.
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I wrote the word “magical” in my journal. My world has much more spaciousness, and my heart feels more expansive as I sit with common humanity and compassion for others. There are times when it’s difficult, though, especially when I feel hurt creep in from a person’s words or actions. It’s a little easier to stay in my seat in those moments, now, though. Feel the emotions, but meet the person, the experiences and behaviors, with love.
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The commonality phase of our humanity has become more inclusive. As the pandemic of a virus continues, we have found a global perspective from the shared experience of a particular pain and, even the death toll affecting all.
We, as a people have collectively searched the spectrum of questions, and sometimes finding the answers; also sharing them with everyone, in the quest to either save lives, or in the least be able to alleviate the suffering. -
This practice is transformative. When I do metta meditation. I am kinder to myself and other people. I use the phrase “just like me” when I’m frustrated with strangers but find it difficult with my family. I am sometimes reactive based on my mental state but metta helps me respond with kindness first. I also have a more positive view of humanity in general and am more optimistic. I plan to use Nikki’s meditations more frequently as part of my regular practice.
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This resonates with me strongly across all mindfulness practices- in essence, we are all struggling with the same things. We are not alone and have so much in common with each person we pass on the street.
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Our commonality, to sit with clients, coworker, and with leaders, and just listen calmer and more present. If you hear and see the human being, our shared human condition, then many comments and reactions seem to feel less important to me. So it made me more quiet and I talked less (and hopefully listened better and with more presence..)
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This has been particularly helpful in practice with my partner. Remembering our core commonality in times of conflict or distress helps me to approach our conflicts from a place of more curiosity and less reactivity.
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I’ve always found that compassion for others comes very easily for me: Even in those times when it might seem difficult to cultivate. For example, when having a heated argument or acknowledging that another viewpoint means something dear to that person even if I don’t agree.
What I am starting to notice more objectively though is the calm that acknowledging this common humanity and compassion brings to my own heart as well as to my mind. -
Common humanity/compassion for others practice over the years has helped me feel connected to all sentient beings, such that I’ve come to feel we are all on the same level. I can see beyond the front that each person has and recognize an intrinsic worth, without needing to know their “stories” of why they turned out as they did etc. Cognitively I know the possibility of innumerable conditions that come together to create a life, and more and more I am able to understand it viscerally.
Knowing that we’re all in the “soup” together, vulnerabilities, warts, suffering, and all..My problems do appear to assume a smaller proportion. It’s also wonderful to feel a genuine benevolence toward everyone I come across..I notice these feeling wane with the people I’m having difficulty with though (more reflections on this in the later sections..)
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