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2.6 | How do this week’s practices/observations inform or influence your leadership?
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I am more patient and tolerant
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I am reminded that you never truly know what someone is going through. At work and remembering this, it encourages me to genuinely ask how people are, connect, and care for them. People remember how you make them feel and I believe this is a big part of leadership.
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I have tried to shift my focus a bit from the “business agenda” to the people in the room, thinking more about what they need (which is often fewer or shorter meetings!) and how we can get the things done that we need to, without unduly burdening people with work for its own sake. I do try to clarify options up front, and make it easier for people to choose, and yet still provide input.
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Active, non-judgmental, and compassionate listening is such a powerful tool to accomplish shared goals. I am encouraged to step away from the day to day administrative functions that seem to take up so much of my time, and devote more time to this practice of compassion which naturally leads to more communal and interpersonal experiences. This supports my own resilience in my role.
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I feel that the metta practice will help to cultivate greater patience for those I work with, and remind me to see the “whole” person—more often—especially when our attention is highly focussed or consumed by job-specific problems and distractions.
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I am going through an extraordinarily stressful time right now so it’s really amazing to have this course to hold me accountable to self care when I need it the most.
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The practice tells me I’m biased, and I don’t have the same ability to deal with everyone. They helped me be calmer in meetings and react more neutrally.
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It has been helping me in how to understand people’s reason for every action and how to be helpful without taking control
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Mostly it has helped me to be more compassionate toward myself and notice the voice of judgment – which as Nikki says, “Ouch”. I’m going to use that word more often; when I cause an ouch or when another person does.
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With self-compassion and metta practice, I’m finding myself reacting less to stringent deadlines and unreasonable requests, leading with curiosity (asking more than telling) and listening more than ever.
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I see the importance of compassion and lovingkindness for creating a leader that allows for culture change, that welcomes vulnerability and better collaboration. I also realize I need to practice so much still to be able to be the kind of leader I want to be and trust that.
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When Nikki has talked about “arriving” in a space, this has really resonated with me. So often, we are moving from meeting to meeting and there isn’t a lot of time or space to shift gears or simply take a breath. If I am leading a meeting, I try to be conscious of where people are “arriving” from and allow time to settle into the virtual space.
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The practices allow me to enter spaces with higher levels of awareness about how I am feeling or if I am holding any tension or creating stories about the possible outcome of the meeting. Pausing in this awareness shifts the dynamic of the meetings.
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This month I really focused on the self-compassion piece, which is typically harder for me than finding compassion for others. It helped me avoid the 2×4 after a work interaction that I felt was less than skillful on my part and, without the 2×4, I clearly saw how many more options there were for me to if I wanted to revisit the conversation. It was both a ‘of course it’s easier’ situation AND a moment of true insight. Leading skillfully and flexibly is much easier if I can cut myself some slack.
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The practices help me stay calm and patience is borne from that feeling of calm for me.
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