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2.6 | How do this week’s practices/observations inform or influence your leadership?
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They recommit me to seeing the full humanity in everyone I work with. To seeing the connection between self-compassion and my ability to be there for others.
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This course is a reminder that leadership isn’t just about a position or organization, and sometimes the most powerful acts of leadership occur at the edges, in between, in quiet. I wonder whether terms like “leader” or “director” may be organizational misnomers, since many hierarchical structures overlook values like compassion, collegiality, equity, diversity and inclusion — using language for strategic plans or public recognition (that can ring hollow), rather than attend to the daily, necessary encounters/treatments of dignity and respect. The leaders who I most admire act more as facilitators who build frameworks for a range of people to grow into their most capable selves to feel meaningfully part of something larger, aligning values. Such leaders also know the art of listening, interested in dialogue, able to change and grow alongside colleagues and the world at large. When I thank my students as co-leaders for respecting each other and growing into their respective possibilities, they share that “you created this” reminding me that I facilitated conditions for community-building, trust, growth. That said, it is admittedly hard for me to recognize this quality amid self-doubt (a reminder to practice more self-compassion!).
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The Metta practices have slowed me down internally quite a bit when interacting with others, and also with my own thoughts and feelings. I am feeling room for myself as a whole person.. more space for my disorganized… crazy… fearful.. often disowned parts of myself. As I have worked with difficulties as “just like me” there has been a sweetness and self compassion that I don’t think I could have touched without this practice. extending it into the organizational sphere where there are so many opportunities to project onto the difficult one my unloved stuff within me. My heart seems more able to see people as doing their best, wanting to be happy, wanting to be healthy and so I have less defenses up and this seems to save a lot of energy
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I noticed an expansiveness of my practice into my daily interaction with others, as well as the moment when the heart goes offline and the mind kicks into autopilot. Yet before the awareness of that, there was a period of embodied experience that shows me the richness of being present. When the state changes, I was able to cultivate an attitude of curiosity instead of judgment, noticing what I am feeling, and take a moment to make a choice whether to continue on autopilot or do something different to make a shift
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I am actively listening and speaking. This is changing my heart. It is allowing me to invite others into work conversations that I have historically kept locked away. Not in everything. But in some things. And this is huge.
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It has helped me with perspective taking, with creating more space to hear others, with approaching interactions with curiosity to learn from others.
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I really want to practice metta and compassion regularly in meetings!!
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Similar to the comment I shared above in 2.4, though my day-to-day work is squarely rooted in the practice of modeling self-compassion and thinking deeply about leadership, this week’s practices have helped me push deeper. To recognize that work like this is essentially never done. There are always dark corners of our psyche and mindset upon which light can be shined. There is always space to push further inward and better understand who I am and how I show up in the world.
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This week’s practices helped me a lot as I feel this is my biggest area of issue. I feel an overwhelming lack of “professionalism” in myself as I have not held many formal “professional” roles and always feel like I will not be respected because of it. This has lead to me not taking on projects or speaking my mind as often because of this doubt in myself and so working on the compassion practice where I find it reminds me that we are all equals, as well as the ongoing needs to intentionally listen have really helped me step into a framework that I think will better guide me as I continually form and shape what I think my role as a leader looks like.
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Being more compassionate of my faults, limiting beliefs and mistakes. So often I just swallow hurtful things that people may say to me and I want to use the word “Ouch” more often. Brilliant and respectful way of communicating pain I feel from others words.
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When I am kinder to myself; when I am less hard on myself – then I am less hard on others. It doesn’t mean that I allow or justify mistakes – Mistakes mean I wasn’t clear or whatever was requested wasn’t clear, or the person wasn’t trained sufficiently (which is a form of being unclear) and a more clear path / more training / needs to be identified. It does mean that I understand about the mistake, and don’t think poorly of the staffer, and don’t make a judgement about them as a person, but it means that I (or I + a senior manager, or I + a senior manager+ them) need to find a way for that situation to not happen again.
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The pointers from Carol Dweck work helped me to fully show up for my challenges, and be grateful for them! To use them. To see them as stepping stones, opportunities and guides. So that I am better equipped to help others. In the past, I thought my challenges prevented me from stepping into a leadership role. Now I see they can actually help! They are great tools.
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This weeks practice opened my eyes to see problems as opportunities for growth and change,
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A lot begins with my mindset, and if I can operate from a compassionate growth mindset, it can shift the way I lead myself and others. I’ve been able to sit with the idea that we are all just doing our best, and we’re all good inside. I can accept people’s ways of working that differ from mine with more ease than before. It’s easy to slip away from this mindset and these thinkings, so this is something I’ll have to work at over and over again, monitoring areas I need to grow and optimize.
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Having a set time of day and length of practice during this week (30 minutes at 5:30 each day) helps me and my family. I notice they disturb me less and it doesn’t disrupt our routines. I can practice in my room without having to announce it each time and we plan our dinner schedule accordingly. This is a huge realization for me, especially when I think they are not supportive of my regular practice. It’s actually up to me!
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