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4.1 | What have you learned / observed over time in your formal meditation on continuing to practice mindfulness of the body and cultivate goodwill for self and others?
Below, you will see the Session #4 reflection questions. Please answer these questions at the bottom of the screen.
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44 Replies
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The most powerful aspect of this course (taken, in conjunction, with an embodied mindfulness course with Oren Jay Sofer), has been to ground myself in my body in times of elevated anxiety and/or challenging interactions (largely with my teenage daughters)- WHAT AN ABSOLUTE GIFT!!! This powerful takeaway, that I have had months to practice since starting this course, will be something that I use at work, at home, and as a hospice volunteer. Thank you so much for this teaching!!!
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Just recently on Thanksgiving, I was listening to a curated selection of teachings on Insight Timer appropriately named “A Time of Thanks.” Most were short affirmations and then I heard a voice I recognized and it made me smile. It was Nikki’s “Radical Gratitude.” I was immediately drawn in and was pleased that it was an hour, unlike the others, allowing time space to engage more deeply. I was moved by the stories that were shared about the human gestures of kindness, caring, and support, examples of goodwill for self and others. Listening to all of the meditations on this morning grounded the intention I already had in my heart that morning and enriched and expanded it further.
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I’ve noticed more awareness in the moment, and not necessarily just pleasant experience but also uncomfortable and sometimes triggering emotions and thoughts. Some are hard to name. In those times, practicing self-compassion is more helpful to bring in kindness towards self, and perhaps make a conscious choice to deal with what’s at hand.
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Yes, I love love love when I remember to pull myself into my body when I’m stressed. The trick is to remember to do it! But wow does it work.
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It’s becoming so clear to me that having a practice of cultivating compassion for myself, helps me have the capacity for compassion for others. There is a closeness I feel between me and other people. A sense of relaxed understanding. And definitely more patience.
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By practicing mindfulness of the body, I’ve found that I can more deeply connect with my emotional state by sensing the changes in my body and vice versa. When cultivating goodwill for myself and others I’ve seen my own self-compassion grow as well as a greater sense of equanimity and patience with and for others.
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Over the course of being a yogi and watching my breath and body sensations the more alive I feel, the move entranced I can get with the nuances of body sensations. When I focus and refocus my attention on the body I can be fascinated by the miracle that the body is – of course there are times when thoughts are too persistent – however as I gain appreciation for the presence I can hold and the awe I sometimes feel I have greater compassion and goodwill for others – we all have a body.
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Over the course of the pandemic, I’ve become much more aware of the negative neural pathways in my brain that get activated when I’m irritated or annoyed. I can feel the aggravation moving from my brain to my bell, then clogging my throat, which makes me want to express the negativity. My metta bhavana practice was especially helpful with a peer leader who I have to play nice with even when they aren’t behaving in kind.
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This month I’ve become more aware of how disconnected I feel from my body right now. The isolation I’ve felt during the pandemic pushed me to be more disassociated and my mindfulness of the body during this course hasn’t resulted in much knowledge or insight. I’m sitting and it can feel calming at times but there’s not much wisdom generated from the practice like there has been in the past. However, I am aware of how important it is to continue the metta practice for myself first and foremost.
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On Giving Tuesday, (Nov. 30), right before I sat down for meditation, I had been going through the 200+ solicitations I had received during the day. I had selected about 10 to support with small gifts, and as part of the metta and connection meditation, I let myself cycle through each of the groups, offering metta and feeling a personal connection both to the staff people working in the organization and then for the people who were being helped by the organization. It forged a strong sense of gratitude for the “helpers” but also a recognition that I share much with the people who may be needing help getting re-settled, or experiencing hunger or homelessness in my neighborhood. The challenges that people are experiencing are not their whole story.
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For a few weeks, I was having a difficult time connecting to myself and concentrating on my mindful practice. It felt that every time I tried, I would think of something to make it stop. But this last week, oddly enough a very difficult one, I am being more and more successful and feeling very thankful that even when it’s hard, I keep on trying.
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Metta continues to be the most valuable tool I’ve learned in this course. I now have incorporated it into my daily practice. It shifts my mindset, and moves me from a ‘small mind’ to a ‘big mind’. I feel more open and still, able to observe rather than just react. I hope I will continue the practice afterward and I’m keen to learn how to go more deeply with Metta.
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What i’ve learned is how much my practice ebbs and flows. Some days I am so excited to sit and have no problem find stillness, other days I dread my practice and want it to end as quickly as possible. Instead of getting upset with myself, I just notice these feelings and try not to attach too much weight to either.
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Goodwill for self is improving. I know that when I am restless, cant focus, the head hurts and the eyes squeeze and the upper nostrils have an inner tension that suggests congestion due to imminent tears is impending. Then I sit, I arrive, I ground, and I wrap myself in my imaginary “self love” blanket. Some imaginary person strokes my temples and tells me its okay, and with a little bit of time it IS okay and I can hold the “it” that provoked the ill-will for self.
There are predators in this world. I can survive them. I can understand a little bit of what motivates them. I cannot wish them well. My best is to avoid them and focus on the little realm over which I have a little control. I try not to allow them to enter my sphere, but recently they made a re-appearance. A scab was removed from a 17 year old wound only to discover it was still bleeding. But ripping the scab brought gifts of a couple of really valuable insights that I have been working with this week. I am learning how to hold the space to look at these experiences without emotional overwhelm; without shame; accepting my youth and naivete as part of the contribution scheme to the problem; having compassion for others with youth and naivete; understanding I had no mentorship in this area (and in lots of areas for that matter); and doing my best to help others to not suffer some of these same experiences. -
I was noticing myself get anxious today and my first thought was “may I be safe” and I was able to reconnect in that instant with a deeper part of myself, a part I have been getting to know more and more as I have been practicing. I am very grateful for the guided Metta meditations. They have helped me to sit for longer and with more of a felt sense of compassion for myself and others.
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