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4.1 | What have you learned / observed over time in your formal meditation on continuing to practice mindfulness of the body and cultivate goodwill for self and others?
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The last month has been a whirlwind of events, both anticipated and unplanned, with several work emergencies that I had to address. I have cultivated my daily routine as much as feasible, whilst working with ever-changing daily routines and commitments. I find that the habit of creating a formal space for the mind and body to “abide” has allowed me to cultivate the ability to do so even briefly at most moments during my waking hours, even if I am not “sitting”. Being able to do so was a true source of stability and focus in these last difficult weeks, allowing me to continue leading my work group and navigate competing commitments, being there for others, for my family too, refraining from placing my own (“ego”) demands on anyone.
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Mindfulness of the body allows me to reconnect with myself and my environment. It also helps me to accept my own human condition, pain, suffering and support myself as a tree in a more friendly ground. I have developed more tolerance for challenging experiences by breathing in deeply during my meditation practice and allowing the body to support me.
I also discovered more things about my practice while teaching meditation on zoom this year. This has enriched my life and brought more joy to my heart. Teaching seems like a very loving practice in my life that is natural to me.
When I meditate, I often dedicate my practice and also set an intention for the day or the work that I do. The more I observe the intentions behind my actions, the more that I familiarize myself with my own will. I contemplate how my practice supports my intention of being flexible with my family, community, co-workers and partner. I see my daily practice as an opportunity to develop wisdom and kindness by loving everyone around me. The meditation practice makes this experience more accessible. It keeps showing the way towards new forms of compassion, reciprocity and genuine love.
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I am learning that for me the real benefit of the practice over time is the space for solitude that I have come to cherish in myself. I’m able to observe how if I’m attached to certain feelings, thoughts or beliefs my actions are prone to self-harm which eventually harms others as well. I am now able to identify this dance that goes on in the mind and formal meditation and mindfulness of the body becomes a intentional space to pause. If thoughts, feelings, actions aren’t aligned with reality and the present moment I can gently redirect and trust mindfulness practice as the space where I can rely on to self-regulate. To feel the feelings and remember the truth of what is. When I experience that I know that I’ll never graduate from it and there is real joy of calling parts of self I used to repress or deny in the safe space of mindfulness. The benefit really is in chopping wood and carrying water.
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It is so helpful to do this when I have gotten into a reactive place about another person, maybe with some black and white thinking about the person being “good” or “bad.” The practice gives me perspective to take a step back and have compassion for where the other person is coming from.
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Not much to be honest.
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I am observing that I am slowly breaking down my resistance to being consistent.That I am softening. I feel more present lately than I have in a while.I am grateful.
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I have found the past few weeks to be personally challenging. During this time, I have especially appreciated the calm and perspective that my mindfulness meditation practice creates. Practicing self-compassion and meditating on the gift of “failure” have been a big part of my practice recently. I have channelled the jubilant “I FAILED!” mantra more than once! I have noticed that this practice has helped me more easily and quickly shift from a knee-jerk state of blame and judgement to seeing missteps as the growth opportunities that they truly are.
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I cherish my meditation practice and look forward to what reveals itself to me. I trust the commitment to the practice and even when things do not go smoothly I have learned to not be attached to the outcome and just stay with the breath and the body even tho my thoughts may be tumbling all over the place! Eventually, the turbulence subsides and a natural calm emerges that provides a ground of being from which I draw strength and healing. Recently, I had to present myself in a large public forum – and deliver a message to very intense advocates that would cause a lot of tension and anger. Before the meeting I was aware of my heart racing/beating and knew I needed to ground myself and breathe…which I did. I practiced metta for me and the others and stay focused on delivering the message. This most assuredly helped me weather this event with grace. I actually came away in pretty good shape; I was calm afterwards and did not mind “fuck” myself with a lot of ruminating over what was said. I was also able to sleep that night. A fellow member of one of my wisdom circles calls this the “side effect” of meditating….peace of mind. I had peace of mind! There has been little backlash from this event as well. Although I am prepared with “equanimitY” to be prepared should there be. Mindfulness and metta practice are most essential for my well being at this point! Yes!
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I have learned (or been reminded) of the ever-renewable potential of this practice, as new dimensions of multisensory listening arise through engaged embodiment. As personal and global events whirl entropically, the practice always holds the potential to begin again. I have always been drawn to the concept of a beginner’s mind; as this course nears its end, that end seems to be transforming into another beginning. Thank you for reminding us to continually and daily cultivate mindfulness of body and goodwill for self and others. Even when our practice ebbs amid challenges, alternative avenues arise that reach inwards and ripple outwards in new ways, teaching us in kind to deepen and renew our practice.
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I mentioned this to my partner in passing the other day, but I feel like my practice and particularly the practice during this class, has made me much more likely to detach from taking negative feedback as a personal failing and understand it as common issues that come and go with working in large group formats and being in leadership positions.
Hearing people who are CEO’s and in very high positions within more formal companies share that their experiences from the other side around their insecurities and struggles to make their (good) intentions palpable to those in other positions and resist the forced hierarchy dynamic most companies push was amazing for me as it reminded me to have compassion for myself as a leader, particularly as I’m a leader that was chosen by the people in my organization and not one who particularly sought out the position on my own. It’s really helped me accept again that there is no such thing as perfection and that each day is a practice in coming together with others while maintaining my boundaries and my health and needs at the same time. It is a blessed practice to partake in as I feel it shows that I am trusted in some way by my peers.
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I noticed that when I explore body sensations to relax outside of meditation, “relaxation” shows up more vividly and quickly. Also, I’ve been using the following prompts, in my mind, as part of my Metta practice:
May we experience nourishing kindness, directly & indirectly.
May we experience nourishing compassion, directly & indirectly.
May we experience nourishing joy, directly & indirectly.
May we experience nourishing ease, directly & indirectly.These have become accessible mental and emotional states that help me stay connected to myself and those around me (even with ongoing social distancing).
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I have found myself yearning for meditation and breath more often. I have also developed a practice of taking a few deep breaths before certain meetings and giving myself time and space (even if for a few minutes) right after. These minutes have been so comforting.
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The continued practice on both body and goodwill (particularly dear one) has made it quicker and easier to get into state of awareness and access a feeling of compassion. There is a very long way to go but I am more able to notice when I am “losing” them during the day and move into my body or deliberately be able to switch perspective/ state and examine the chang, how I feel and my effect on others.
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What I have learned through the practice of meditation is the value of self reflection, self accountability, self responsibility, and last but not least, the virtue of self sacrifice.
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I’ve found myself much more self-aware of my physiological reaction to things. I’ve also that my has become ever more frequently a reminder that brings me back to the present moment. I’ve really appreciated the presence and connection to the present moment and to others that both practices have helped me cultivate.
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