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4.3 | Spend time learning about Robert Gass’s ASPire Model. Plan a one-on-one meeting to offer coaching to someone you work with. What worked well? What could have been better? What did you learn from the coaching session you offered? Post Insights.
Below, you will see the Session #4 reflection questions. Please answer these questions at the bottom of the screen.
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38 Replies
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This aspire model doesn’t resonate with me, but I do have one-on-one meetings to coach people regularly. What I decided to focus more on was to LISTEN as opposed to quickly offering advice. This has, as I’ve stated in several other posts I’ve shared, made a dramatic difference in people feeling HEARD and SEEN, and has shown me that strategic questions, as opposed to accurate answers, is the best path to empowering others.
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Every day I walk into work, I am engaged in a day long coaching sessions for the newly graduated veterinarians. Then on one of my days off, a 2 hour Zoom coaching session on reading lab reports, diagnosing certain conditions, exploring client communications, and right now, test questions for a nationwide test. I am not certain that they learn anything in the Zoom session, which frustrates my sense of its usefulness, but I do know that they want to continue the session. So, if anything, it appears to be important as a source of access to ask questions, and a source of community and relationship building.
Mentorship is the #1 request new veterinary graduates have of their employers. Mentorship. This term encompasses so many different scenarios I have had a difficult time understanding what exactly it IS that any one person wants. So with this current process – curiously, a courtesy of the COVID pandemic, – we are co-creating a mentorship paradigm that serves these 2 doctors and will change as new doctors enter the relationship. It takes a LOT of energy from me. A LOT. It is hard. And when the day comes that they leave the practice (as will inevitably happen), I know I will have some personal feelings to address about the amount of time I have invested in their growth. But that is impermanence in action, and its on me to handle it, pick myself up, and begin it again.
I am looking at the ASPire information to look at how I may coach better, and the Difficult Conversations book to look at how I open dialogues that might be difficult, and respond to dialogues that are difficult, as well as more skillfully lead conversations that have elements of blaming; identity fragility as new veterinarians uncertain about how to be/act as veterinarians; and boundaries and professional interactions with support staff, clients, me, each other.
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I have not had the opportunity to offer coaching to anyone I work with
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Many of the elements reflect the ways I’ve tried to work with staff in recent years. I like the way the Shift phase is outlined. I will be doing year-end reflections with staff I supervise between now and the end of the year, and will use this with one person who is underachieving and may be a little lost in this virtual work environment.
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Coaching is not something I do at work and, even after reading more about this model, I feel like I would need more time/practice/skill building to feel a base line of competency. The one session I did felt awkward and uncomfortable and not terribly helpful. I felt unsure how to frame the questions and wasn’t sure what sort of reframing was appropriate. I learned I need to work on this before it’s something I’d feel comfortable offering to anyone.
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The “Attend” part worked well: he outlined the situation in a detailed fashion, and I was able to listen and follow up with questions that felt relevant and seemed to provide insight as he answered them. (Felt more like a wisdom circle model). As I moved into “Shift” I think that I got hung up on feeling as though I needed to provide advice on what to do, rather than digging more and helping him recognize his own wisdom for the situation. The form of my “wisdom” was in negative examples from mistakes I had made in handling similar situations. I’m not sure that was the best approach, because it didn’t really offer suggestions of what to do, just what NOT to do. The “Plan” session was somewhat abbreviated as we ran out of time–keeping a better eye on the clock was another area I could improve. In retrospect, I asked good questions about the substance, but not as much about the emotion or self-image (levels 2 and 3 of a difficult conversation) of the situation he faced. Going in with the model and knowing it was an assignment did raise the stakes a bit, but overall, it was still enjoyable.
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It’s been a very hectic month at the organization, so I wasn’t able to schedule that yet, but want to do it in early January
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I did use this method for a team member who approached me about something she was distressed and upset about. I found it provided me with incredibly helpful structure. I had a start, middle and end to the conversation. I felt like I didn’t just skip to trying to find solutions right away (Plan) with is my usual approach. And giving space to ‘attend’ and ‘shift’ mend the ‘plan’ was received better.
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I am currently preparing to use the ASPIRE model for a meeting on Thursday. My coachee has been struggling with his relationship to another director and associate on a project. The director and associate are leading the project and my coachee is there to support. He feels as if he isn’t being consulted or adequately shared information. Although I do agree that this is true, this is someone else’s project and isn’t a place for me to step in and request the dynamic to change. I’m hoping in my conversation with him that I can be a supportive listener and empower him to change his mindset and find a solution together. This is actually quite hard for me and I do feel a guilty not stepping in to solve for him, even though I know that isn’t the right solution.
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I was happy to learn the details of the ASPire model, as it provided me with a formal framework to reflect on my own approach to coaching and teaching. Among other experiences, I also trained as an educator, and as an emergency, emotional support active listener. I never truly systematically examined what had to be done, when and how to facilitate someone’s development and transformative thinking. I just observed, felt, acted, responded, and eventually internalized. Every interaction I have, in hindsight, could have been better – for example, in my last coaching session, I could have pushed less, and listened for longer. Every such interaction, though, is also for me a learning opportunity, as I attentively listen as much to the person I am working with, as to myself coaching: a chance to observe, feel, act, respond, and eventually internalize.
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I found the ASPire model very insightful and a great tool in this field of mindful leadership. When I make myself available for a coworker, I focus on listening deeply and attentively. This practice is very close to mindfulness listening. I often ask questions that help to clarify their own search for a better understanding of their situation. In this process, I recognize their strengths and capabilities. I gather some information of what has been done successfully and emphasize the importance of those efforts.
Eventually, we arrive at those areas that might need additional work. We unite forces to determine what is achievable by noticing how much has been done previously. We can see the power of teamwork, effective time management, diligent goal setting, among others. Then, the shift often arrives by seeing how every possibility is already there in their hands.
During the process, I emphasize how valuable is everything that has been done and how this can now be implemented or directed towards their new search. I ask what they see next? Then, people can imagine scenarios and that makes new paths or decisions less intimidating. Naming things sometimes is harder than imagining new possibilities. Creativity is an essential tool in most of my work, so I often use storytelling to connect deeper and to illustrate different ideas.
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As a psychiatrist, I am used to a different model, and it is difficult for me to remember how to do this in a prescribed way…on the other hand, I am often doing something similar to this model all the time.
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I admire this model a lot. Sadly it was not particularly applicable to my work life this last month. I hope to experiment with it in the future.
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Being on leave, I was unable to connect 1:1 with a work colleague for this practice. I did, however, practice the ASPire model with my husband. I usually consider myself as a good listener—although consciously practicing the “Attend” phase helped me recognize many moments in which I could learn to resist the urge to rush to “help” or “solve.” Witnessing and listening is powerful, and I look forward to practicing this further with my team and colleagues when I return to work.
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I used Robert Gass’s ASPIRE model when I met with one of my managers to review his plans to fill a vacant staff position. I have a team of managers that I supervise regularly; I like the ASPIRE model. I am a trained therapist and the ASPIRE model reflects/embodies many of the same processes that therapy uses; listening/attending, shifting or transforming and planning or making an action plan. This manager has been effected by the pandemic. He is somewhat depressed, flat affect, unsure of how to proceed with operations that he would have handled with ease prior to covid; as a result, he will leave projects sitting and not do anything about it; he has become s/w passive and ambivalent. The vacant staff position was almost “lost” because he had let it stay unfilled for so long. I was able to advocate to fill it and here we were planning how to proceed to fill it.
When I met with him, I grounded myself with mindful breathing; aware of my impatience and wanting to be present to “attend” to him. I wanted to keep my impatience at bay. As I sat with him, I became aware of how frightened he was! Underlying his passivity is a lot of fear. He was worried that he would mess up. I listened to his plan, supported and validated and talked with him about some of his accomplishments prior to covid; as he relaxed we moved to shifting. I framed this process as a renewed opportunity. I also realized he truly was in need of guidance even though he knew how to do this process. He just needed reminding! I checked with our personnel person and got the protocols for the manager to remember to use(there are many rules for hiring in public systems-managers always get nervous because they do not want to “mess up”)We then planned together how he would go about completing all the documentation required. We have checked in with each other periodically since this meeting to monitor the progress of interested applicants. ASPIRE model reminded me about how important it is to slow down and be kind and listen and attend. This was helpful using it with someone who needed help from me. I would also like to try using it with someone with whom I must assert myself. That will be my next challenge.
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