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4.3 | Spend time learning about Robert Gass’s ASPire Model. Plan a one-on-one meeting to offer coaching to someone you work with. What worked well? What could have been better? What did you learn from the coaching session you offered? Post Insights.
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I met with a woman whom is having a difficult time with the uncertainties present in the logistics arena of our industry.I sat for 5 minutes in quiet breath work before she came in. I brought myself back to staying present again and again and allowed her thoughts and fears to fall on my ears without setting up my agenda in my mind. When she was done with presenting her challenges, I acknowledged her experiences and asked how we might together be able to come up with some solutions for our clients. I offered her my support and encouraged her to explore ways in which she could utilize me as an additional set of hands. It was a very warming exchange where she opened up new suggestions and we were able to. together, formulate new courses of positive action. She was grateful. My opening up to her as a helper worked well. I could have been better in staying present. Back to the cushion for me!
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I enjoyed learning about Robert Gass’s ASPIRE Model. While my current transition made it difficult to offer coaching during this period, I look forward to experimenting with this resource in the future.
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Coaching with the guidance of Aspire Model was really interesting. I’ve noticed I’d be much more aware of how I come into the space. It worked really well taking a break and spending some quiet time before the session just to be more present while coaching and it really helped. What I noticed needs improvement is the balance between the head and heart to support myself and hold space for who is being coached in a balanced way. I’m learning that to improve a coaching session it really helps supporting myself and learning about the art of transformation in the process so the mutuality of growth is shared in the session.
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I would have really like to partake in offering someone coaching however the opportunity did not present itself as I’m a faculty member and it is the end of the semester – students are off on break. About a month about this would have been perfect. I so recall a meeting with a learner about a month ago that would have benefited from Gass’s model. The conversation went well but using a model to structure the conversation would have guided the discussion.
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I would say I’m a fairly decent & natural coach, and that it’s an area I get praise in often but have felt lacking in my own self assessments. Largely I feel as if there’s a sense of being heard in a deep way that’s missing, though this feels confusing as many people tell me I give good advice. I feel like I provide answers too quickly sometimes for other’s to really lean into developing their own insight and try to listen more with only offering questions that might inspire introspection vs providing the questions then providing my analysis.
I think I find this hard as a particularly introspective person because it often feels like others do not take the same amount of time to stop and think or that they’re ignoring their own feelings and then asking me to do the work of uncovering it for them when I think part of the journey of being able to be better at these things is developing some sense of self-directed research/introspection. I’m currently in a phase where I’m trying to accept that not everyone has such a familiarity and comfort dealing with their own feelings and that since people trust me I should not feel irritated by this but gratitude as others feel comfortable allowing me to enter their minds and thoughts in support.
After my coaching session the person said they felt inspired and had more of a sense of next steps and direction. Those were great positives to hear 🙂
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Although I like the simplicity of the ASPIRE model, I do not have direct reports right now which makes it difficult to practice this directly. I know that this model makes me think of the other person’s feelings, interests, and needs more often, even in informal, peer conversations.
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Giving myself permission not to “solve problems” and instead listen fully has been a gift. I feel much more authentic and connected in this type of interaction. Seeing people as full humans and not staff with specific problems has been very opening.
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The coaching both reinforced the power and intent behind mindful listening and speaking and also how difficult they can be –often I was tempted to dive in and give solutions. I also noticed the power of reframing, and that something which may seem subtle or almost too obvious to me, can have a powerful effect for the other person in opening up their thinking and the need to trust myself here.
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This is an interesting and simple model to work with. The most difficult part of it for me in the role of coach is the Shift. I believe it’s because I get too much in my head about “doing it right” that I freeze and find it hard to flow on this part. I noticed I keep internally doubting my ability to help the person make a shift in perspective. I have had opportunities to try this where the client ends up reinforcing their belief.
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Coaching is an area where I need more development. In this experience, I found the “plan the path forward” step challenging. I need to get better at letting people come to their own answers/solutions vs. me telling them what I’d do/offering advice. I’ve been trying to practice it in personal relationships so that it trickles into work. This practice takes a lot of mindfulness and active listening. Reminding myself to ask questions, listen and let the person talk to come to their answer. I’ve primarily practiced with the GROW model, so I enjoyed learning a new model. I especially like stage 4 – Identify the obstacles as it’s given me insight into some challenges, fear, and limiting beliefs the other person has and how it impacts their decision-making, risks they’ll take, and actions. In my friend’s instance, she knew being active on social media could help her start to promote the business she’s launching in 2022, but she kept getting in her head about whether her post would be valuable or not. Through the session, she decided to discuss how buying plants and starting her garden helped her mental health at the height of the pandemic in her first post. She went from that post to creating a Facebook group filled with over 100 other women interested in learning more about mental health and self-care.
I learned that coaching helps people take action and I should trust people to know what’s best for them and which actions they need to take.
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the one on one coaching meeting worked best when listening with compassion. What could have worked best is, not to offer feedback, advice or encouragement. What I did learn from the coaching session was, I became a better listener when I was not expecting to offer solutions.
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I’ve been both the coach and coached in recent weeks and noticed myself and the person who coached me using this model. I find the structure of this model extremely helpful — to gain clarity on what the person needs and then help them shift their own perspective on the situation. I still find myself tempted to offer solutions from the outset, but mindful listening has helped a lot to ensure I don’t. I’m looking forward to applying this more in future.
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The person I coached was interested in expressing longstanding concerns that she had held on to and wanted to express in a healthy and positive way. The “Shift” phase of ASPire was very powerful; we had a dialogue about the influence of the thought processes and patterns that lead to ongoing pain and the benefit that could be gained from a shift in perspective. For this person, the simple act of expressing her pain was part of the “plan” that could lead to personal growth.
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I’ve been exploring my role as a supervisor from a coaching perspective and learned a lot, especially about gaining clarity about an issue or situation. In a recent student grade dispute, this worked well. However, the shifting process was not successful. I need to reflect more on how to apply this model to faculty and higher education, where coaching is often based on seniority and experience.
I look forward to sharing the coaching model with psychology students.
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The model helps redefine the definition of supporting someone for me. Supporting someone in tapping into their own inner wisdom rather than trying to help them solve it in a way that might be a step removed from what would actually serve them best. Listening and even asking a simple question like “what would that look like for you?”, could be helpful in opening them up to possibilities they might otherwise not have come in contact with.
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