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4.3 | Spend time learning about Robert Gass’s ASPire Model. Plan a one-on-one meeting to offer coaching to someone you work with. What worked well? What could have been better? What did you learn from the coaching session you offered? Post Insights.
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I have read through the ASPIRE model and will look for opportunities to do some concentrated practice at some point in the future. I love the simplicity and the initiation of attunement, followed by shifting and then making plans based on new awarenesses.
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I think the coaching situation went well for a first conversations the challenge for me is the follow-up and calling out when something is not changing and not getting accomplished.
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I like that the Aspire model is strengths based. I used the Apsire model with a friend who called about wanting to go for a promotion at work. What I found helpful was to disconnect from any specific outcome. I attended and listened to what he was really wanting and then helped him shift from coming from a place of being unappreciated to knowing his value and expressing it to his bosses. We then made a plan for how he can express his worth and value to get the promotion he wants.
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I really found the Attend stage my favorite part, when listening deeply and asking clarifying and respectful questions to evoke the persons existing wisdom to surface they sometimes shift and plan by themselves.
I think the focus on presence and the meditation practices, reduced my need to shift and plan as a coach, “to be rather than to do” in the coaching. Instead to trust the process and I noticed just small prompts and acknowledgments seemed enough for the person to find a plan and a shift themselves. It does however, require humility, as it almost felt like I was not doing anything, not offering any expert/leadership words of wisdom, put I think it is more powerful for the person.
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This approach feels natural to me, and I have been recognizing elements of it in my weekly 1:1 meetings with team members.
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This is an unfair question as coaching is what I now do day-to-day and have for the past few years. I was not familiar with the ASPire model and for coaching conversations already leverage a somewhat similar structure known as T-GROW. Topic, Goal, Reality, Options, Wrap-up. One of the most important things that Gass’s model doesn’t explicitly spell out, which has served me so well, is to actively listen and pay attention to what has heart and meaning. A coachee will often share a lot of information. Holding space is vital, and the most challenging part is to notice where there is heart and meaning. To pull on the right thread to help someone affect real and lasting change.
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My 1-1 went well. Thankfully, I had a colleague that had already been asking for my time for some coaching. So reaching out and planning the session didn’t feel forced or awkward (as if I wanted to coach them as some kind of reprimand.)
I really loved the new perspective that “Shift” brought to the table. I’m definitely a problem solver at heart and so many times after Attend, I want to dive right into solutioning. But the ASPire model really helped me ask the right questions to prompt my coachee to discover the right answer for themselves and feel greater ownership of the course of action. Ultimately, helping them leave the session even more inspired and excited to get started. -
I think that the hardest thing for me is staying in the “attend” phase for enough time to deeply listen and understand where the person is in terms of their challenges/thoughts. I love the instruction in the wisdom circle to ask only clarifying questions – not to jump to advice, observations, suggestions, solutions. We (or I )have been so inculcated to value problem solving/solution finding/offering suggestions/giving direction. There is a lot of habit and experience to counteract to keep with the deep listening, and only asking clarifying questions for a good long while – much longer than is habitual, much longer than is comfortable – given the strong pull to wards other ways of being. I found that I really loved asking the questions, digging deeper, keeping my opinions to myself – although at the same time it did seem somewhat awkward, somewhat uncomfortable since it was such a diversion from our normative behaviour – so I perhaps was a bit self-conscious about the change in my way of being. But it went really well, and my co-worker appreciated my questions and has since mentioned a few times how I helped her to reflect on some of the dynamics of her situation. In thinking about what could have worked better, I think I could have stayed longer with attending. Small steps to change ingrained habits.
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